Apr 17, 2022 2 min read

The Spotlight Effect

Today we’ll find out why is it too hard to eat alone in public?

🔦 The spotlight effect

I think I have a small problem that you might relate to: I always carry myself with me everywhere I go. I observe every move I do, I know everything I said, and I know how many people I talk to each day.

There is a phenomenon in psychology called the Spotlight effect, where people tend to believe that “they are being noticed more that they really are.” This is why it is hard to eat alone in public, why we hang out with people we don’t like in social events, and why we scan the college cafeteria for people when we enter.

We are thinking “what are people thinking of me now for being alone?” But notice that this question was only concerned about the “me”, not others, and you can be confident that everyone else is either thinking the same thing (therefore, not thinking of you), or thinking of whatever they are busy doing at the moment (again, not thinking of you).

You know that you are sitting alone, but others don’t, because they probably can’t see you because they are busy thinking of themselves.

This is not a depressing idea, it is a liberating one! Be you, don’t waste a second thinking about what others will think, and act as if you would have if others were not around because they do not see you anyway. An antidote for the spotlight effect? instead of thinking of how others see you, observe others, and slowly all that anxiety disappears when you are not focused on anything but yourself.